HOW TO RULE THE WORLD (Part 3 of 3)

ONE FAT BASTARD AT A TIME

In PART 1 of HOW TO RULE THE WORLD, I showed you the fundamental details of my world domination plan and how I have used a basic need, to get people to eat what I want them to eat, and thereby set them up for control.

In Part 2, I explained how I am going to ramp up my plan and turn it into something viral, something that will creep imperceptibly into everyone’s life and slyly become the expected standard of living.

In this final instalment, I show how I am going to turn the tables on the whistleblowers, turn nutritious food into an unsavoury option, and fine tune mind control to have the planet literally eating out of my hand.

No one is safe.

Not even YOU!

Read on and shiver!

DESTROYING THE ENEMY

Any self respecting, world domination plan must have an arch-nemesis to content with.

In my case, this arch nemesis is none else than that pesky, wholesome food.

You know, the so-called good stuff.

I want that to be hard to find, and expensive to purchase when you do find it.

So, I’d definitely make that happen.

Give you a hell of a time to find it by making it proportionally costlier to produce than MY stuff, so you’ll have to pay through your teeth to get it.

I’d make water expensive to buy and make sugared drinks a more appealing option than plain old H2O.

And if water is the desired option, then you can all enjoy drinking the leached environmental estrogens from the plastic it is bottled in.

I’d make a healthy salad way more expensive than your standard fast food item.

I’d make artificially grown, pharmaceutical-infused meat the norm. The industry standard.

I’d make it a lot harder to find anything reared and grown the old fashioned way, and if you did find it, you’d have to pay a premium for it.

And that will cost you precious time.

And time is money.

And I know that concept alone – when I dance the magic word “money” into the equations – will discourage you a little bit more from buying anything that is actually good for you.

Because a lot of people are way to ready to give up the greater, long term good, for instant gratification today.

I just LOVE that!

PUTTING THE CROSSHAIRS ON MOTHER NATURE

Hell, now that everything is working so well, and I have amassed enough power, it’s time to uncoil.

Time to show a little power.

Time to make the world shiver.

So I would even find a way to screw with thousands of years of evolution and biologically engineer entire species of plants so that even Mother Nature would bend to my will.

Then I’d force the entire industry to buy MY version of nature by tricking farmers into thinking my way is far better than the stinky, sweaty, backbreaking old way!!

That’s right. Not even Nature itself will be able to resist me.

Think that’s science fiction?

Keep thinking that. Exactly how I want you to think.

Meanwhile, time is passing by and my plan is taking shape under your very noses.

WORLD DOMINATION IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Now here come the crown jewels of my dastardly little plan.

I would ensure that the world was so busy just keeping up with the pace of life, that very few people would have time to work out or eat in a healthy fashion.

Or I would at least put them in a position to believe they had no time.

Which is basically the same thing, after all.

This would give more sense and infinite appeal to my fast food, and pre-packed goods.

I’d make doorstep deliveries of junk as easy and as painless as possible.

I’d make microwaveable or deep friend food the order of the day for all you busy bees – The Quick and Easy Duzzit Diet!

Who cares if it’s proportionally poisonous?

In short, I would prime life in such a way that the only “reasonable” venue was my food!

And there you have it – I would now be controlling the people.

MAKING THE TRUTH AS UNSAVOURY AS POSSIBLE

Of course, I would still have to contend with the numbnuts – those people that take it upon themselves to make others believe I am misleading them to their ruin, in some way.

You will always get these assholes – they are as unavoidable as bad smells in crowded elevators.

So, the top of the master plan with its crowning glory, we need to make things as difficult as possible for these pint sized heroes.

So, I would make fat people…fashionable.

First, I’d cosset them around.

Tell them that it’s not their fault, the poor darlings.

They are big boned. They are plus sized. They have bad hormones. They have been cheated on the genetic front. And bad self control is unavoidable.

It happens.

There, there, don’t you feel bad, you big silly, you.

You are certainly not to blame!

Look around, there are so many just like you.

We have even got glossy ads full of large people, like YOU!

It’s fine, big beauty. You are just a normal, jiggly sweetheart.

Here, have a soda!

And if you feel really down, here are some pills that will make you feel better.

Where there’s a pill, there’s a way.

Shit happens. It’s just the ways of the world.

Who called you fat??

You’re not fat!

That’s unfair.

Get my drift??

It’s ATROCIOUS to call people like this FAT!

I mean, just between you and I, they ARE fat – and a lot of them are disgustingly and disease-courtingly fat, I know that – but you CANNOT call them that!!!

Hell no! That’s mean and uncouth and cruel.

Because it’s NOT their fault remember?

And you cannot blame someone for something they have no control over, right???

Hell, I am GOOD!