How Your Excuses Will Destroy Your Dreams

“I just haven’t got time”

“I don’t have the money this month”

“I’m on holiday for a few days so going to give this month a miss”

“It’s too hot right now, I’ll come back when it’s a bit cooler”

“I’m going to do my own thing for a little bit”

It’s SO GOOD to be a victim!!!

Because that way, we are never to blame. And we never need to fix anything either.

Shrug them shoulders, baby!

YOU know EXACTLY what I am talking about, right?

It’s the finger pointing thing. One of the best reflexes we have.

We learn it when we are kids and it never leaves us for as long as we live.

“It wasn’t me!” Shaggy, no fool he, even wrote a song about it.

It’s always somebody else. Or something else.

Call it Fate. Karma. Destiny.

Or simply “the dog ate my homework!”

And our best defence is to just try and take ourselves out of the equation.

It’s all about smoothing things out by nulling our sense of involvement.

“I tried. I did my best. “

“I did everything in my power.”

Unfortunately, all these excuses really do is just act as a balm for our own conscience.

We feel better when we make excuses because it helps us BELEIVE in our own limited responsibility in being able to execute.

We really do start believing the notion that what happens is not our fault.

When the TRUTH, is of course, an entirely different beast.

 

I GOT THE POWER

We can always do so much more than we think we can.

SO MUCH MORE.

Just because something is an accepted social dogma, doesn’t mean you have to follow it blindly, as if you had no free will.

Just because a notion is popular, NEVER makes it automatically right.

In today’s world, a world of automation, of self indulgence, of instant gratification, you need to, more than ever before, develop a deep sense of self.

And a sense of balance of self to go with that. Supersize that please.

If you are the type who blindly believes, and worse, goes happily along, with socially accepted norms, then you are in serious, serious trouble.

Because instead of building something according to what needs to be done, you will end up trying to fit what you have into what you are told should be done.

And that, friends and neighbours, is one perfect recipe – for DISASTER.

Because instead of nurturing what you have, you will end up forcing it to do what it was never designed to do.

You will effectively be choking all the good qualities out, to fit in some pre-fabricated ones.

You will warp out all the beautiful virtues that make what you have unique, just so you can fit it into a Styrofoam cup.

You wouldn’t even do shit like that to a custom car, would you?

Seriously, if you were working on a car build, a one off, would you buy something off the shelf and build your car around it?

No way, you’d ever do that.

You’d stick to your project and manufacture everything you needed to fit in with what the best idea for your project was.

Anything that interfered with that, would be detrimental to your vision, right?

So, why would you do shit like that to your character and your dreams?

They are after all, the most unique character and dreams in the entire world – YOURS!

Why would you honestly let a preconceived notion – that has absolutely nothing to do with you – to intrude into your thoughts and manufacture your life for you?

When you think about it, it’s utter madness, isn’t it?

 

THE “RARE” PRINCIPLE

DON’T do this if you cannot handle the truth.

You can stop reading right here.

The following steps can be pretty tough, and they can test the mettle of the best of us.

Deep insight is a harsh journey at the best of times.

And, as such, is indeed a rare move by most.

Removing the facades of what we have been taught to accept as truth and finding the REAL truth, can be as rough as it gets.

RARE – Realization, Admission, Redemption, and Execution.

These are the four steps to purging and building anew.

The pillars of redemption.

REALIZATION

First you have to REALIZE you are fucking up. That in itself, will be a big shock to the system.

That finger pointing shit is not only automatic, it’s obviating.

You start to point around, you start to believe it really is not your fault.

That makes true insight, the very realization and appreciation of an error, a mission into oneself.

Especially if you are naturally defensive.

So, stop!! Breathe! Think!

ADMISSION

Once you get to that realization then, hell, YOU step up and YOU take the blame.

Admit you fucked up.

We all make mistakes. It takes real courage to admit to fucking up.

There is nothing demeaning about making mistakes.

Plenty wrong in not admitting to them though.

Especially if they concern someone who truly loves you.

REDEMPTION

Knowing exactly where you screwed up will tell you exactly what you need to do to unfuck the situation.

In your heart, you will always know what the right thing to do is.

So listen to your heart.

And use that to design your own plan to redemption.

Don’t expect freebies. Don’t look for handouts. And don’t ask for leniency.

Get shit done right!

Change your old ways. They are killing you.

Remove the ingrained thought patterns you have, the things you THINK you have to do, and substitute them with what you REALLY should be doing.

EXECUTION

This next step is a biggie!

Once you get to that realization that you KNOW you have fallen down, then start fixing things.

Right there and then.

Yes, IMMEDIATELY.

Then do whatever – and I mean, whatever – you have to do to make things right.

Formulate the best line of action and execute.

Waiting does no one any good.

Sleeping on problems makes them bloat up with pus.

If that means cancelling planned schedules, postponing important appointments, scrapping plans and losing money in order to urgently fix some higher priority in your life, then do exactly that.

If your absence is absolutely vital to something, then get a contingency plan in action.

You will be surprised how well that holds up.

When one Pope is gone, one billion Catholics hold their breath for as long as necessary, till another one comes along.

You have to develop a pretty good sense of balance between “have-to” and “should do” in order to figure this thing out.

Because way too many times we get waylaid by what we think we have to do, or what we enjoy more doing, and conveniently forget what we should do.

The fun thing, in exchange for the right thing.

The convenient in exchange for the vital.

Because some things are important. True.

Other things, are however, fundamental.

That’s something to ponder on deeply.

 

I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU

Let’s run by a quick example.

I recently needed to meet someone, who was expecting me and who needed my help.

Problem was that this meeting was going to happen during an annual event I have not missed out on for several years.

One was important.

The other was crucial.

Thinking about shit too long doesn’t work.

So, I quickly weighed up the pros and cons and came up with a solution.

Not the best perhaps, but a working on for me.

I went to the event early, did a fast round and excused myself.

Sorry have to leave, urgent appointment.

Explanations and consternations were voiced, but I was firm. I apologized but I had to be elsewhere.

The event could continue without me for the night.

I could and would make up for my absence some other time.

The other appointment could not. It was a matter of integrity.

That was the way it had to be.

The best part however, was when the other person never turned up because they “had” to be with friends.

Fair enough. C’est la vie.

WEATHERING THE STORM

We have since talked. I am convinced they will listen, they will employ the RARE principle…and they will learn.

The important point is, I was there. Ready and available, as promised.

I do not measure my life with the misconceptions of others about how things should be done.

Neither will I ever lower my expectations or my standards to accommodate society’s complacencies.

I WILL be there! Whatever it fucking takes!!!

Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is one TOUGH premise to live up to.

That takes serious cojones.

Not saying I am some kind of saintly knight in shining armour, because I definitely am not.

I fuck up too, and pretty badly sometimes.

But I do what needs to be done, at least, most of the time.

And doing that takes a mindset that is not bound by accepted dogma.

A mindset that took me decades to realize, and learn to build up.

It’s a bitch learning from your own mistakes.

A wise man will learn from the mistakes of others, not his own.

So, I do reiterate that this method of living life is NOT for everyone.

But then, neither is greatness. Or the things that come with it.

Like success.

Serenity.

A lifelong relationship built on sound values.

Steadfastness.

Trustworthiness.

Security.

Calm.

Control.

Hey, these are the luxury items in life.

The real bling.

This is what the top of the line looks like, baby.

 

DO THIS!

Start knocking off the people you have in your life who don’t have all these qualities and see how many you end up with.

I will bet you anything you like you’ll need just one hand to count them all.

Or less.

The other very important thing to do with this list is – if you know someone like that in your life, someone who has all those values, then STICK TO THEM LIKE GLUE.

They will lead you to greatness.

And true happiness.

Because those qualities don’t just…happen.

That’s the shit you fucking have to work your ass OFF for.

Long, hard and intensely.

Blood, sweat and tears.

And hanging out with people like that will invariably rub off these qualities onto you.

Well, ONLY if you are in any way interested in becoming the best version of yourself that you could ever be that is.

It is unfathomable how many horses have been led to the water and they just refused to drink.

Everything in life, is after all, a DECISION!

It won’t be easy, ever.

But it will be fucking worth it.

 

WRAP IT UP AND TAKE IT HOME

If there is one single lesson that you can take from this article, it’s this.

Things in life do NOT just happen.

We are the orchestrators of everything that happens to us.

We write the music. The band just plays what it’s given.

And everything we have, everything we receive, all the things we are perceived as and get landed with in life depends completely and entirely on what we do and how we behave.

And THAT, my friends, comes from what we BELIEVE.

About the world around us.

And about the power within us.

About our own qualities and what we are able to accomplish.

Because what we believe invariably dictates what we DO.

And what we DO – and not what we preach – is what effectively DEFINES US.

So LISTEN.

GROW.

BELIEVE.

And ACHIEVE.

Have a great week ahead, everyone.

Rock it till it screams your name!

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